I'll warn you of this wordy posts before you start reading.

I hate how much everyone have to go somedays. Each time I hear about death, I shiver in fear. All the negative thoughts will run wild. The first time I cried so much cuz of granny's death was when I was P5. You may say it's humorous how I would recall all this which was like 7 years ago. But let me tell you, I remembered it vividly. Or rather, the whole funeral thing I would still remember, including her death date &time but I don't think it's necessary to mention. So far, I've witness 2 of my loved one death. And I seriously hope no more of it. I saw with my own eyes that grandma leave us, and so is dad too. How to live a proper life w/o thinking about those negatives thoughts with all this nightmare haunting us every now and there? Dad's death was really a sudden one for me and my family. But least granny death, we know deep inside that granny has stomach cancer. But the adults choose to kept mute bout it. Nevertheless, I knew it when I saw the medications on the plastic bag that was hung outside the bicycle along the old house corridor of mine.
No matter how much hatred you've for anyone. Be it relatives or family members. Just remember, you live only once, forgive and forget. Treasure every single one for you might not know what'll happen the next moment. It's just like a simple example, no matter how much my dad causing us to be homeless, causing so much troubles at home, causing us to live in fear, mom never really gave up on him despite so many times of burning his hands for never quitting his habit of gambling(and I won't deny, dad is really a heavy gambler that he can causes all of us to suffer along w him), despite of hearing them wanting to divorce for so many times that I'm numbed. And cuz of all this that happened, I finally realized that family are the main key. They'll be there for you be it rain or shine. Whereas friends will not be with you almost all the times, no matter how true how close the bond you share within. And for me, my family doesn't consist much of a people ever since dad deceased.

* It's always good to plan for the worst. Although, my mind is set on the negative thoughts heavily. But I am trying hard to look on the brighter side and pray that ahgong will be fine! <3 <3


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